Hmm, I've not work for someone for quite some time... 2 years i guess. Recently, i went for a part time job interview at Lowyat IT mall and i got a job! I'm now doing sales, with pretty good pay selling surveillence systems. Mainly on CCTV. Well, just feel like doing sth b4 my stall in genting is ready... i almost became a slacker!!!

I managed a used car branch doing buying, selling...etc. I oso did distribution of salon products. Did some little bizs Now, CCTV is definitely something very new for me. Lotsa terms to learn!!! From cameras, to e lens, processor and censors to DVR standalone, pc cards and so on... phew, it took me a week to learn all the basics...

well, there are lotsa difference between doing my own biz n werking for someone.

i will give 10 exp....
1.Lots of free time vs no time to eat
2.bearing with fussy customers vs bearing with customers+supervisor+manager+boss+management
3.wear nice clothes vs uniform
4.go sg to see my gf vs ask my gf to come over to let me see
5.do wadever i think benefits my co. vs dun tok too much or u might piss someone off
6.learn from trial n error vs learn from my boss...
7.stress and pressure vs relax n wait patiently... for pay. lol
8.reprimands worker vs 'kenna' reprimanded
9.unhappy with someone? sack them vs omg, dun sack me yet
10.no rules vs please comply with e co. policy or u can leave...

lol... Doing biz is definitely better in my pt of view but its really not easy. Takes guts and balls. Well, I've to wait for a stall vacancy in Genting and i hope i dun have to wait dat long.

My gf came over to find me last fri night.
Poor girl went to e bus station after work and took e 8p.m. bus. Gotta go thru 5 hours of boredom on the bus to reach KL.
Reached at 1:30am, but have to wait another half and hour b4 i fetch her... sorry, i promise i wont lose my way next time. Went home with me and i gotta rest early for work on sat. Leaving her bored but without choice to rest with me.
Woke up in e morning, gave her a couple of hugs and kisses and off to werk i went. Poor girl had to force herself to slp till 4pm so dat she wont feel sian.
She den woke up, stretched up, washed up plus make up den came over to my werkplace in e evening. Walk ard e shopping area till 8pm. for me to finish werk.
We den went out to have our dinner and we went back home(so dat we can rest early n wake up early e next day for outing!).
We din sleep early i tell u, we cuddle till so late! lloll. still we woke up early and went out... for more of our outing, go to www.honeyflashh.blogspot.com.
Sent her to e bus stop at 10pm. and waited for e bus to leave at 10:30pm. i acc her in e bus till the last min.
She reached singapore custom at 3:30am. and went home to rest a lil' b4 gg to work in e morning.

She is just so sweet, loving and caring. She has sacrifice alot alot for me. Well, this is y i love her so much. so so much...

Today is one of my sleepless nights this week... i'm troubled.

A very close friend of mine, very very close one told me today, 'i no longer regret my regretted regrets'. You people must be wondering, why did this positive phrase troubled me.

regret-1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.
3.a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc.

The story goes like this, she once had this group of friends, or should i say very good friends. Following a fall-out between her and one of the person in the group, the rest sided that person. As they were from the same school, and this close friend of mine in the other. All their outings excluded her. They have known each other for years and even attended the same school and some in the same class. They left her...

After a year or two, some of them looked for her, wanting to accept her into their presense once again. My close friend feels the pain she once shouldered all by herself all over again. She regretted being so nice to some of them and all she got back in return is just hipocrisy. She once regretted not putting in the effort to hold on to their friendship. She regretted alot, alot of things. After so many years, i still hear her out, listen to how she've already let go of these regrets. From what i see? No... she hasn't completely let go. I was right too. She admits it's just 90%.

From here, I want to tell her some things that came to my mind just now as i was lying on my bed.

regret-1.to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
There is absolutely nothing for you to feel remorse for, because remorse is for someone, who did some thing wrong. My friend, in your case, your 'friends' should feel remorseful leaving you out. Letting you cope with the loneliness and sadness. To feel sorrow you should NEVER be. Since all is lost, and they have chosen their way. There is just no reason to feel sorrow. Sorrow be to those who lose a true friend, who lose a wonderful buddy. And i can tell you this, you are one hell of a friend.

2.to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one's vanished youth.
From the above definition, it was followed with, 'to regret one's vanished youth'. Only thing as IMPORTANT AS YOUTH is worth to be thought of as a sense of loss. You missed a golden opportunity, missed out on a great chance, lost a family member, broken a leg, scarred your face or losing your own life- things that is worth feeling a sense of loss for...

All i can say here is, you are such a wonderful person, you have a great life ahead of you. A family who loves you, your boyfriend who loves you so much, your close friends now whom you can always count on, you great bunch of colleagues and a wonderful job.

Regret is too much for a wonderful person like you, let alone the 10% you have yet to let go. You deserve much better. Trust me.

My gf is here in Malaysia, it's a big deal to me. Well, I don't really write about my daily life so I'll just use poems to sum up my day...

A Wonderful Morning

last night i was filled with excitement,
i could hardly contain.
my love is coming to malaysia,
i almost went insane.
it was hard to get to sleep,
and by morning my head was in pain.
she said, 'we could meet up for lunch',
and e thot of her eased e pain.
fearing i'll lose my way,
i checked the maps in vain.
at last i found a way to get there,
i was about to faint.
i went for a very quick nap,
and there i dreamt of u again.
all i can say is, its a wonderful morning,
i cant wait to see u Raine......

A Hot Hot Afternoon

in shock i woke up,
i check my phone for time.
i ran ard hysterically,
like i've commited a crime.
it's 12 n i've to get ready,
its way past rise n shine.
i got ready e map i drew,
n checked if i'm looking fine.
i went out b4 calling her,
in e lousy car of mine.
i drove e car n out i went,
looking at all e signs.
the sun was scorching above me,
till i nearly whine.
i called her when i was there,
but her phone was off at dat time!
i told myself at least i know e way now,
i went home leaving it all behind...

Sunset

finally i was gg out again,
meetin her at her work place.
i drove so fast this time,
as though i was in a race.
i reached e place n met her colleagues,
thru e KL maze.
we went to PJ for dinner,
her colleagues guided me e way in slow pace.
a malaysian who dunno his way ard,
i dunno where to hide my face.
we had the best duck in malaysia,
i definitely love the taste.

Duskkkkk

we got home at last,
we fell asleep in 5 minutes.
everthing happened so fast,
i woke up in a 100 minutes.
i wish tonight will nvr past,
i love every moment spent wif her to bits.
e room was sooo dark,
its amazing her face just lits.

dear, u r leaving tmr, really hope u mean it when u say u r coming again.
kept stroking ur hair and kiss ur cheeks last night, hope i din disturb ur rest.
take care... see u ltr.

Yang Berhormat Dato' Seri Anwar bin Ibrahim (born 10 August 1947) is a Malaysian politician who served as Deputy Prime Minister from 1993 to 1998. Early in his career, he became a protégé of the Prime Minister Mahathir bin Mohamad, but subsequently emerged as the most prominent critic of Mahathir's administration.In 1999, he was sentenced in a highly controversial trial to six years in prison for corruption, and in 2000, to another nine years for alleged homosexual acts. However, in 2004, Malaysia's highest court, the Federal court reversed the second conviction and he was released. In July of 2008, he was arrested over allegations he sodomised a male aide.Anwar is the only Malaysian to ever make it into Time magazine's 100 most influential people in the world.On August 26, 2008, Anwar won the permatang pauh by-election with a majority of 15,671, returning to Parliament as leader of Malaysian Opposition.

Today’s post will be dedicated to both Napoleon Bonaparte (a great dictator) and Dato’ Seri Anwar bin Ibrahim. Here I’ll compare Napoleon’s Quotes and Mr Anwar’s situations. All Napoleon's quote will be in blue.

As Napoleon once wrote, ’Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever’. Anwar has won the Pernatang Pauh by-election with an astonishing majority of 15,671. He was then returned to the Parliament leading Malaysian opposition. It’s a great news for all who wished for a change in the current government. The BN has ruled Malaysia for 51 years and things have started to heat up in the Parliament due to a strong comeback by the opposition party in this year’s march election. The opposition party lacked 30 seats to gain control over the Government. Anwar is definitely glorious in his return. Obscurity seems on its way now that Mr Anwar is once again facing the charge of sodomy. What might happen next? No one knows. For all that I know, Mr Anwar has perseveres through his controversial trial to 6 years jail term and returning to face his ‘enemy’ once again. Which also reminds me of Napolean’s other quote, which is, ‘Victory belongs to the most persevering’.

Napoleon once said, ‘Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in’. There is not a single doubt that Mr Anwar has spent most of his time in the past years thinking of ways to take over the government. He has declared that on 16th September 2008, he will take over the Government and he being the PM. For that to happen, he would need 30 defectors from the BN side to defect over to the opposition’s side. For it seems pretty absurd, as PM Abdullah Badawi has sent his MPs overseas for a course which will last from 13th to 19th of September 2008. We’ll know by tomorrow if what Mr Anwar says is just an empty cheque. The time for actions has come, show us what you're made of Mr Anwar. Fulfill your promises.

Anwar is a hero to many in this country. He not only has supporters from the Chinese and Indian communities but also the Malay community. He promises equality and at the same time, not taking away the Bumiputra’s privileges. All in all he puts the people of Malaysia regardless of race or religion in the first place. If he wins, we hope all he promised will be achieved and we, as the citizens of Malaysia might have better economy, safety and peace. If Anwar loses, he will remain in our hearts. we’ll then just pray hard and wish for a better future for Malaysians. Whatever it is for Anwar, he will still be a hero even if he lose because of the reformations that he has done to the country. Lastly, Napoleon wrote, ‘It’s the cause, not the death, that makes the martyr’.

“The things you want are always possible; it is just that the way to get them is not always apparent. The only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life is you, and that can be a considerable obstacle because you carry the baggage of insecurities and past experience.” Les Brown

Things have been going well for me. At least this is wad I feel. Sometimes we just cannot make everyone happy and sometimes people cannot make us glad. The more you want something, you MUST be prepared in the very first place that you are not going to get it. A successful career, wonderful family, smooth sailing life and a girlfriend who understands you. These are dreams of all men. Any punters out there can tell me what are the odds in acquiring all these? From my past experiences, I honestly doubt it would happen.
Have you people felt that you have no one to talk to? I feel that a lot recently. My gf is busy with her stuffs and even at night, I dare not tell her my thoughts so as not to tire her even more after she worked for the whole day, other times, we are just arguing over certain issues which we argue over and over again. My mother, she is busy too. My sister, she’s too young. My bro, I don’t know how to talk to him about my problems maybe because of my ego.

From my first stanza and me trying not to stray away from the topic. These are my problems.
1. Planning my career, but away from my girlfriend.
2. Try to satisfy everyone but they aren’t even satisfied with what I’m trying so hard to do.
3. To stay with my gf n lose all my current opportunities.
4. Want to talk to someone, no one is there.
5. Try to solve all my problems alone, end up like this now.

“In general, any form of exercise, if pursued continuously, will help train us in perseverance. Long-distance running is particularly good training in perseverance.” Mao Tse-Tung

From this quote i guess it goes for everything else in life... Running through these problems and train our perseverence...

I’m on my way back to msia… Having spent a whole mth in sg n leaving alone now… alone on this bus, leaves me with mixed feelings. Think a lot whenever i'm alone. Really enjoyed myself for e past 1 mth but it wasn’t all abt having fun. I enjoyed jus being with my family n gf. Enjoyed their presence n jus their presence alone is priceless. I mean, if one were to own everything in e world but doesn’t have close family members or frens… Wad is e meaning of life?
This experience gives me a new prospectives of life, wad I’m gg to do n how I’m gg to plan my life. For my future plans, anything dat I plan for myself, i'll plan them carefully putting my close ones in 1 of e top priority.

3 n half yrs ago, I left everyone n went to Brunei. Having childish tots of gg there to start anew n do things without any restrictions from my close ones. I learnt a whole lot of stuffs over there. I dun come from a rich family, but I’ve nvr went thru any hardships. My temper was very very bad (hereditary I think). Since I’ve quite a number of frens who r pretty well off, I tend to learn to boast n all even when i was jus a kid. All jus bcos i dun want pple to think I’m ‘lower classed’. Being in Brunei, I learn to be responsible for the things I do; n failures in my workplace humbled me. There were many times while I lie down on my bed awake in the middle of e night… feeling e coldness of loneliness. By jus typing e word ‘loneliness’ it’s sufficient to give me goose bumps. I nvr want to leave my family anymore… I nvr want to make major decisions by myself anymore… when a family is ONE, its unbreakable... be it mentally, physically, psychologically or emotionally.

Mummy- thanks 4 being there for me WHENEVER I need u. I know I’ve always been e rebellious one but I just want u to know dat I’m very appreciative of wad u have done for me all these years. There r many times when u teach me things which I dun agree to but wad I realized is dat, u jus wan e best for me.
Quote- listening to ur mum is like believing in God, there is absolutely nth to lose n might even gains a whole lot more.

Raine- thanks for being there all e time. U r e sweetest thing dat ever happened to me… despite all ur temper n ur stubbornness, I just love u so much. we’ve been together for a while now, n oso a very long way ahead of us. I wish we can be just like this. Im contended. Thank u for ur love, thank u for everyth.
Poem- From e start, I’ve love u with all my heart
Till e end, things will work out as we’ve planned
From now on, I’ll cherish more of our bond
Till I die, I promise u I’ll nvr say bye
From my heart, I wish I can fulfill my part
Till u see this, u’ll know u’r crazily missed… (is this too mushy?)

Kelvin- yoyoyoyo, dun really have to say much man… its all in the heart. When a man toks to another man, he shan’t tok too much… lol. If not it will really be mushy. My bro who taught me this when I was younger. Ok, I’ll keep things short. Thanks for being my brother. I know I look like ur older brother. Hope everyth goes smoothly for us by e end of the year. lets climb up e ladder of success hand in hand n feet in feet.
Another quote- Brothers will teach u a lot a crappy things in life, among these crappy things will also be one of those important life lessons…

Chrislyn- oh, its my lil’ annoying, irritating angel. Always rmb dat kor kor will always love u. frens come n go but rmb we’r here to stay ok. Sometimes e things dat I say to u, u might not agree, but I jus hope u know I actually mean well ok?
poem- my sis is such a cute lil’ thing…
learn this n that n now wans to learn to sing.
I know her so well dat I know her fav colour is pink…
When I write this I dun really think.
After u pple read this dun say I got no link,
My sis is really a princess……… n I m KING
My sis’ full name is TAY XIN LING…
Mine is not nice… TAY SHIANG MENG.

Lol, I know I write crap la, its 2:53 a.m. of 7th sept. I cant sleep… im reaching KL… continue this when im home den…